A friend of mine challenged me to come out as ME the other day.
As in Being Me and showing the world the real me. And I realized that yes, I’ve still been kinda hiding. Even though I don’t technically hide who I am and what I do, I don’t shout it from the rafters. And because I can feel that it’s not always accepted and understood, I keep myself under the radar. For years people like me have kept a low profile. But I think it’s a good thing for those of us who are quirky and different to come out of hiding and say hey! Guess what! I’m here! And I’m a good thing.
So what makes me seem different?
I see and feel and move energy that most people ignore, I can “read” people’s energy and get a sense of who they are and what’s going on. I don’t necessarily always want to either. There are some unpleasant flavors of people out there and when I go out, it can be a smorgasbord of energy pops. On the other hand there are some lovely energies out there as well. Some people feel like love embodied.
But guess what, all that anger you’ve been harboring and repressing? It’s hanging out in your aura. Yes you have an aura. It’s basically your bubble of energy. Your body, plus a few feet out from your body. Same with positive thoughts, hopefulness, anxiety, fear etc, etc. It’s all there. I don’t sense all of it at once, probably just the most prominent one. But my energy field is sucking that crap up. Yum. That’s why I can read people pretty damn well. My energy goes in and takes a sample of whoever I’m focusing on. Good, bad or indifferent. And that part is on autopilot. So when I’m out and about I try not to focus on people unless it just happens.
So, imagine telling the average person that you see, feel and move energy or that you’re an energy healer. Imagine their face. It’s funny. Sometimes it doesn’t compute, sometimes they think it’s awesome. And sometimes I get the occasional…oh the geez she must be evil, look. But they try to hide that due to attempting to be polite.
So for the longest time I didn’t say it. I said, I do holistic coaching. Eventually I found a way to explain energy healing or Reiki, but the whole depth and breadth of what I do is harder to explain. It’s not only healing. And it changes over time.
Normal, every day, human life is very interesting for me I must say. I find myself staring and connecting with some people, and almost running from others. I come home exhausted from absorbing people’s energy and I sometimes have to get rid of what I’ve picked up. I know a lovely Tibetan yoga practice that helps me do that. But nothing…and I mean nothing keeps me from absorbing it. I need naps or lots of down time if I’m connecting too much with people. I spend a lot of time flat on my back recuperating.
Some people I encounter during the day may wonder, as do I sometimes, why I focus on them all of a sudden. I may start talking to them for no apparent reason. My consciousness does its own thing sometimes. I will say and do what needs to be said in the moment to help that person, in whatever way is needed. And be on my way.
If someone asks me why and what the reason behind it is….I don’t always know….consciously. Sometimes I can see that people know that there’s something happening, but it’s tough to explain it to people in a short span of time. So I don’t.
So if you ask me for my help? And invite me to give you insight? What you need usually will come out of my mouth and my energy field. It could be advice, energy movement, or small shocks of initiation.
I found through a system called Human Design, that I have been studying for a few years now, that I am what is called as a Splenic Projector. A Projector is someone who does not have a defined sacral center and therefore does not have access to a constantly renewing life force. Our energy is designed to guide other people’s energy and to give insight and guidance when invited. I also have two other energy channels defined that make me great at seeing what’s going wrong in people’s lives, businesses, or the world. And I also have the ability to gently or sometimes not so gently shock people and initiate them into a new reality that they may not have anticipated.
When I learned what Projectors are and what they are about, it explained a LOT! Why I was always a little low on energy. Why I get overwhelmed at swap meets and concerts…why I am always learning new systems and healing modalities and researching everything under the sun. If you’re meant to be a guide you have to know some shit! Which I do. I know a lot of seemingly random info. But I still keep learning.
The thing about a Projector’s guidance is……because we look so deeply at your energy and can read it so well AND because we tend to be so well read and researched, we can really give some life changing guidance and advice. But it will not be felt , taken in, or be any good at all if it’s not invited. The invitation can be verbal or energetic but it has to be there. If it is…magic can happen.
I also have a great BS detector. Lies, even when people are lying to themselves, have a different frequency to me. They aren’t as powerful a frequency as truth. I can’t even deal with politics. So much BS it’s crazy.
I’ve also had this path for a long time now of exploration of consciousness. Who are we really? What is truth? How do find the divine? How do I become more of myself and let the crap the world taught me go? I dive deeper and deeper every day.
And sometimes I just wanna get off and just forget about it. And I may for a day, or a week. But it’s part of who I am and it drives me. I can’t be anything different.
So that’s it for now. I’ll be writing more about my experiences as I go along.
Thanks so much,